Neelam and my relationship is not like a marriage made in heaven, we also had to work on it: Ronit Roy on his rock solid marriage

Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Thi’s Ronit Roy is a very private person in real life. He shares less about his personal life as compared to other actors. However, in a recent interview with ETimes TV, the actor bared his heart out and spoke about his wife Neelam, his relationship with her and also stated that she is fantastic homemaker.
Talking about what loves means to him and if love is enough for a relationship, the actor said, “I don’t understand the meaning of the word love. It is a very generic term, I love my dog also so it is very generic. Are you saying love the word which I call attraction based on which a relationship starts, are you saying the attraction that I feel that is emotionally, mentally, physically stimulating is enough. No the truth is it is not enough. I can safely say that an emotionally and mentally stimulating relationship lasts longer than a physically stimulating relationship. Having said that I feel this is just a base of a relationship.”

The point here that needs to be understood is when two people come together especially like Neelam and me. It was not like a marriage made in heaven or it was not like we were handed over this on a platter. We had to work on our relationship because she is a very strong individual and she likes things and her home in a particular way. She is an amazing homemaker and hence she has very strong likes and dislikes. I respect that about her. It is the quality from where her love, loyalty and diligence towards her family come from. So, I can’t say that I want these and not want the rest. It’s the two sides of the same coin and a coin only works when it has two sides. Otherwise it becomes useless,” he added.

The actor, who is known for playing complex characters in the past like Mr. Bajaj of Kasautii Zindagii Kay or his character in Udaan feels that in a relationship, partners need to be equals and that marriage is not a monarchy, “When you start living together you start understanding the strong, intrinsic, nature of the other person. The word here is respect and understanding. You need to understand what the other person is made of, how the other person thinks, what the other person wants and who the other person is and once you understand it, you have to respect it. Because marriage is not a monarchy, you are not king or queen, either way, it doesn’t work. It is for both the spouses. It’s like asking for gender equality, the same thing it’s partner equality. In a relationship, partners need to be equals they need to be on the same level. It can’t be upar neeche. Toh aap ki soch, samajh aur aap ki problem ke solutions tak pahuchne ka joh tarika hai you have to agree on that,” he said.

Ronit and Neelam have been married to each other for 20 years now, and the actor spills the beans about his relationship with wife Neelam and reveled that he is the first one to say sorry, “We are human beings. Sometimes I might be upset because of my driver but I may come home and yell at my wife. My wife can be irritated with something that might have gone wrong in the house and she might yell at me. So, it’s ok after all we are human beings sometimes we flare up we are not santh and mahatma’s to not get angry. We are normal people and live a normal life. Sometimes we fly off the handle so the best thing to do at that time is let your partner vent out after 10 minutes things will be normal. Jaise main kabhi Kabhi chilla deta hoon phir 10 minute baad jaake I say sorry baby I made a mistake, even sometimes she says sorry but woh thoda late bolti hai agle din (laughs) usko time lagta hai. When she is angry and venting out I smile at her so that it calms her down and the level of anger drops down. We have spent 20 years together yaar… toh bees saal mein agar bridge nahi banaoge toh kab banaoge. We have been blessed with two intelligent kids. They can’t even tolerate us speaking loudly to each other. We tell them we are not fighting we are debating about something and they tell us aramse se debate karo please don’t yell in the house. It’s all good,” he concluded.